Talkin' Jesus
myself a prude, it is often uncomfortable when required to explain 21st century slang to
those who are unaware of earth human idiosyncrasies. Blah Blah Blah..what I'm saying is...
do you mind if we avoid the use of marginally acceptable words in our conversation?

M: Consider the issue already corrected...Jesus I'm sorry 'bout that! ...I want to thank you for
setting aside some time for us to meet.

JC: Not a problem...consider the issue forgotten and forgiven. also, it is no trouble at all for
us to meet so you're quite welcome. Remember there is only one in present company who
perceives self influenced by the constraints of time.

M: If you have no objection I would like to move on to a topic on the minds of many...
As you know there has been quite a controversy generated by a film depicting the life of
'Thine Truly'. In this film your life is portrayed to have included a marriage to Mary
Magdalene- beautiful name by the way...Anyhow, she is alleged to have been a prostitute
and you are alleged to have married her and that you actually fathered children. Is this an
outrage or what?! Surely you must be infuriated!

JC: Must I be?...why is that??

M : WHAT THE FFa!...check that...I mean...

I mean... Jesus Christ you're Jesus Christ after all...such egregious blasphemy must not be
allowed to escape punishment! I am myself so pissed off I feel like puttin' hurt on those punk-
ass mahfuccas! Just say the word man and I will dedicate my life both avenging the crime
and restoring your honor, believe you me- if it's the last thing I do!

JC Well...hold on for a moment.. What is it about a marriage to a...

M: ...there is no element of truth in the whole story, right!?

JC: Be assured, nobody has the story totally correct. Nobody is even close really. Now as I
was saying, what is...

M: Man Jesus, this discussion has got me freakin’- where are we going with all this? Am I
being 'punked'?

JC: You might wanta’ chill for a moment my Brah, you are needed on this earth; stress,
pollution, 2-patty cheeseburgers, and excessive amounts of alcohol- for you, threaten a
premature departure. I only hope you will regard yourself with more respect. How can you
help others if you do not attend to your own physical health first!?  
I have much material relevant to the topic all adaptable to your individual needs.  If you
follow the advice you will likely live a long life in harmony with humanity proceeding on a
continuum enriched by the access  to noble principles infinite and eternal.
But, I digress. let's see...where were we?

M: We were talking about that whore and the children she allegedly bore as the main evil
components to a fabricated story about your life while on earth

JC: Whoa x3, let's back the truck up there Big M!...way back.! You have got to learn to both
treat and regard others (the two are inseparable) with more respect; a respect similar to the
respect forwarded you by all forces of Creation. The regard you have for yourself is clearly
portrayed in the ways you treat, not only other human-beings, but, also your degree of
reverence for all components relevant to transcendent beauty and a physical life lived in a
material world.

JC: One more thing before we return to the original question...I noticed you self corrected to
avoid the use of a marginal word when you uttered the words ‘what the…’. Of course you
soon followed twice with the use of words often representing negative associations but hey,
who's counting. The point is that a score of 2-1 remains to represent progress by virtue of a
willingness to both acknowledge and address the issue.

M: Cool!...Okay I think I can settle down and do some listening.

JC As always it is your call to make, cuz if I got anything I got the time!

M:  Actually I gotta’ go cuz I gotta smoke a ci… I mean I gotta drop the kids off before
school and stop by the dry cleaner, then…

JC:  Congratulations on fatherhood! Remember… just try to take a few moments to
yourself, relax, try to slow down just a bit.  If you pick up 1 piece of trash per day and do
something kind for another (anonymously) once a week you will change the world.

M: Okay Okay, well it was nice talking to you.

JC: The feeling is mutual- believe me!  Let’s do it again sometime…
Following are some highlights from an
interview conducted by the likable-but, clueless  
Mr. M. Sill…

M: Jesus Christ it's good to see you…haven’t
seen you in a minute!

JC: Or two!

M: How the hell ya' been?

JC: Doing very well M...thank you but I hope you
don't mind me reminding you it is family prime-
time viewing in all adjacent quadrants of the
universe.  Tho' by no means do I consider

interview with Jesus

here and now

.I mean... Jesus Christ you're Jesus Christ after all...such egregious blasphemy must not be allowed to escape punishment