No Ordinary Moment
My feet feel warmth yet they are shackled.  The room is bright, but not from the
sun. This can't be HelI have done nothing wrong.
I cried with passion...I yelled out loud- in the language all infants understand...

Dammit!
This can't be Hell
I have done nothing wrong!

And then…the inexplicable...

In an instant I was suddenly confronted with a sensation fully contrary to that which I had previously
experienced in a prolonged and hellish existence.  It was love,.. the type of love that even God could only
arrange to witness. It was the love of  a mother.   Fear subsided as  love  instantly explained the existence
and nature of all good things.  

Life would be full of challenges laced with intermittent pain and sorrow but it would be nothing close to the
unrelenting horror it first seemed to be.    Love smoothed the coarse and warmed the cold with the
promise of beautiful things to come.   In an expanded segment of time- seeming much shorter then the
first, the trauma experienced upon the absurd introduction began to fade significance.

Although much time has passed following my own first breath...'it was there I just now returned when I
heard your first cry.   As I witnessed you enter a world you  so soon would be asked to share- it seemed a
mere moment between first breath and first love.   But, I know for you, it was just short of eternity.  

And now that you have experienced both, I am sure you would agree that while life is not possible- one
without the other- there is no way possible to compare either to another.  I’m not sure you would fully
agree, but I think you might…I hope the beautiful among us are those who have it right … it is breath that
started the pursuit of knowledge- but love, if only for a moment, connecting with true beauty and timeless
wisdom.

To know eternity before the start, is to know the insignificance of the end.  
To know it not, is to know what it is...
That everything between is what life is about.
communion.  I had it all figured out and believe me I was complaining- without regard
to present company- and with no fear of retribution.
I had the sense outside sources were influencing purposeful direction;  my pain was
somehow influencing course.   My  predicament seemed to be the source of pleasure
for something or someone else. Or...perhaps suffering was best experienced in
In barren isolation, beyond the realization of all others able to ponder, I was born with the
horrifying sense I was all alone.
On a desolate outpost, fully obscured from view, there is the planet earth I called home.


Did it exist before I arrived? Certainly not! I would have to say.  How I got there I really
could not explain.  If  not so consumed by fear and the knowing of absolutely nothing,  I
might have  proclaimed myself the creator.  
Just prior to my first breath I wondered if I should. Immediately following I wondered
why I had.  


My clearest understanding of this world occurred during the segment of time
immediately following first breath- a segment experienced as a brief moment to
others- but to me it was just short of eternity.   
Pain and the sense that the nature of all things was completely upside down.   
At that moment I knew with a certainty- better then any other ever...This can't be Hell, I
have done nothing wrong!
It seemed that pain, fear, and uncertainty would forever characterize the landscape in a world
seeming hostile and fully immune to any favorable explanation. The truest to my emotions
expressed with the purest of honesty occurred during the elapsed time experienced as a brief
moment to the others- but to me it was just short of eternity.
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